When I started this course, I was fairly confident in my abilities as a critical thinker. I used to pride myself in being able to not jump at the first thing I heard or read but instead to step back and ask questions about what I was hearing or reading. It was a "trust no one" situation that sometimes made me seem combative and pessimistic but in my mind, at least I wasn't a "yes-man" at work. It wasn't a "pick your battles" situation either and I didn't realize that a person doesn't have to be all or none with critical thinking. This might be going to deep but upon reflection, it appears that sometimes, in deference to the "greater good" or the "bigger picture" one doesn't always have to be so critical. Knowing when to fold, for the greater good, is just as important as understanding why you folded. That in itself is critical thinking. I think.
My thinking processes are all over the map since I started this course. I thought I had a better grip on my intellectual intelligence and critical thinking skills. I am challenged but feel incompetent at times. I realized that I sort of go into most things (non-math related) feeling capable, not cocky just capable, but am often proven wrong. This isn't necessarily always a bad thing though. I am optimistic and ready to do the work but am not always ready for the amount of work needed to make up for what I thought I knew but indeed did not. So this is a learning curve and while I feel like my thinking processes are all over the map, I am optimistic that they will all lead somewhere and the journey will be cathartic.
I haven't really been able to internalize the techniques that we have learned as much as I would have liked because I've been on medical leave away from work for six weeks so my human interaction has been limited to my husband and a doctor or two. I am returning in three days and am (once again) optimistic that the techniques will prove helpful as I rejoin my team and help them navigate the craziness of our new director. It will be a true test because this director is absolutely insincere and doesn't listen to recommendations which is really demoralizing. He is headstrong, arrogant and difficult to work with most of the time. This being the case, he has requests of my team and we can counter those requests with inquiry but ultimately, we have to comply. The best way to do this, as I'm learning, is through the virtues of critical thinking like intellectual autonomy, intellectual humility, and confidence in reason. I'm sure that I will fail at times but I will get back up.
In order to make lasting changes in the way I think I will have to work very hard at not getting emotionally attached to my projects. This is going to be very difficult for me because, like anyone, I put my whole self into projects and things that are expected of me so when the work is ignored or rejected without explanation, it hurts. It shouldn't...but of course it does. I will need to work with my team and as a (little more) senior member, set a positive example for the newer folks and interns to follow. By expecting that of myself and working hard at trying to live the critical thinking virtues and traits...I might succeed in making a lasting change to the way I think.
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