A641.4.3.RB - Tipping
Points of Emotional Intelligence
I’ve talked about this before in my Reflection Blog for this
program but the experience works for this exercise as well. When I came to Boeing
South Carolina (BSC), it was with excitement and hope for something new and the
opportunity for growth. I didn’t want to leave WA or Boeing Fabrication but I
knew that the time was then, the opportunity presented itself and I needed to
trust myself and take a huge leap of fate. Until then, I’d been working with
the same group of people, or in close proximity to the same group of people,
for the last 5 years. It was a safe haven, but one with limited possibility for
career growth. I don’t think I’ve ever actually admitted this to anyone but I
wanted to see if I could be successful on my own…away from the people who held
the net under my tight-rope. I wanted to see if it was just a fluke, if they
were protecting me from how bad I really was at my job…from how much I really
didn’t know. I didn’t feel like I deserved my job at Boeing.
At first I didn’t know if it was the amount of sunshine
available, a new environment that was empty of the heavy stress we felt in WA,
or some combination of those things, but I felt incredible! I felt lighter,
confident, and less intimidated than I thought I would. BSC is different from
Boeing Washington in many ways but also very similar in culture and processes
so it wasn’t that big of a learning curve. Or so I thought. The time came for
me to learn a scheduling software that I was only vaguely familiar with. I was
taking over two packages from two different people and they were both trying to
help me with this transition. One of the people was helpful but I could see she
really cut corners and the way she talked about things was mostly negative. The
other person was younger, and her method was to show me once and walk away.
When I had follow-up questions, she rolled her eyes and would be condescending.
It wasn’t a great learning environment. I was falling further and further
behind because I didn’t understand what these people were trying to help me
with, or not help me with. I felt defeated, stupid, useless, and old. Maybe my
fears were founded…maybe I didn’t deserve to be there. Maybe I just talk a good
game but can’t actually follow through.
I wallowed in self-pity for about three months. Struggling
to get a hand-hold on the schedules, the metrics, and finding a cadence that I
could maintain. Finally, I stopped asking for help from anyone, sat in a small
conference room, and just worked. It took me a long time to really grasp what
the software was all about…a lot of trial and error. Then one of my co-workers
started sitting with me while I was working. He had projects in my areas so
with him sitting there we could talk about the projects and work on the schedules
simultaneously. It turned out to be exactly what I needed. I really had just
needed someone to sit with me while I noodled through the process and answer
questions as I went along. No one else was willing to do this for me. In two weeks,
I had gained confidence and was feeling much better about my situation. It felt
like the first time in months that I had been able to look up and see my surroundings
again. That had been my tipping point. [I]t seems that the process of change is
not a continuous one and that happens with these tipping points or on these
moments of emergence. (Boyatzis, 2013) It
just took someone who could take the time and sit with me, and talk me through
the questions, to bring me out of the negativity and back into a positive
space.
Since that point we’ve switched to a Visio based scheduling
program that really boosted my confidence because I’d used Visio a lot before
with value stream mapping and process flows. Suddenly, the people who had been
helping me, were coming to me for help! It was and is really cool. The work
statement was also reallocated and once again I found myself face to face with
having to get training from Miss Condescension. This time though, after a
couple of eye rolls and “I already told you this.” situations, I just stopped
asking her anything. Instead, I relied on my team leads and the manufacturing managers
I supported. It is a tactic that has proven very successful. I did not want another
negative transition that brought me back to the point of questioning every decision
I had made that got me to that moment. It’s still stressful, and I still have
those negative days but its better. [R]emember in that moment that you’re
feeling stressed, there’s actually some positives to those things happening to
that feeling of mental arousal. And that’s that you are going to be better
equipped to handle the challenge in front of you. (Carmichael, 2016)
What would I have done differently? I could have stopped
being stubborn and asked for the help I needed…not the help I was getting…sooner.
I let stress and my own insecurity get in the way of my ability to learn something
new. The crippling self-doubt was winning. If I could do it all again, I would
brush off that negative self-talk and give myself more credit. Confidence
reinforces positive attitudes. Feeling like you’re capable or at least able to
become capable lowers stress and enhances an affirmative approach. Confidence
eliminates, “I can’t.” Positive people say, “I don’t know but I’m sure we can
figure it out.” (Rockwell, 2010) I also would have recognized sooner that while
I can adapt to change, I do not like change and that stresses me out and that’s
when I get angry. It’s not worth getting angry over. Now, I try to acknowledge
stress ahead of time. I kind of say to myself, “Okay, this is going to stress
you out. You have to rise above it. Write in your notebook, take deep breaths, and
think before you react…don’t yell. Don’t allow these people to make you look
like a crazy person.” So really when you start to notice whatever your signs of
stress are– and you should take some time to think about what are they.
(Carmichael, 2016) Suffice it to say that I’m trying, working on self-awareness
and the reality of what I can control and what I can’t. There are also lot of
things written in my notebook that I’m super glad I didn’t say aloud.
Boyatzis, R. (2013, September 11.) Module 2 The Positive
PEA) and Negative (NEA) Videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=197x4dmuug8&feature=youtu.be
Carmichael, S. G. (2016, December 1). Handling Stress in the
Moment. Interview with Amy Gallo. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/ideacast/2016/12/handling-stress-in-the-moment
Rockwell, D. (2010, July 8). “N” is for Negativity. Leadership
Freak. https://leadershipfreak.blog/2010/07/08/%e2%80%9cn%e2%80%9d-is-for-negativity/
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